20 Worst Cocktails EVER!

Cocktails, apart from the weird name, are some of the most interesting things you can have at a party. They are the literal embodiment of “Going with the flow”. With dozens of drinks and scores of flavors, the possibilities are endless. While some are rejuvenating and some are delicious, some are downright ugly. Here are some of the cocktails from around the world that literally make you say “For the love of God, Why?”


1) Smoker’s cough

What do you expect from a drink with a name like that? Something as harmful as the disease itself. This weird cocktail is made from Jagermeister and mayonnaise (yes, the stuff you put on your sandwich). While smoking is harmful, it is atleast a pleasurable activity. Smoker’s cough, on the other hand, will make you wish you had cancer.


2) Bloody Tampon

Next on the list of weird-named drinks, we have the Bloody Tampon. Yes, it is quite red, thanks to the divine combination of whiskey, tequila, tomato juice, lemon juice and Baileys. Apart from being red, it is also chunky (as an added bonus, of course). And honestly, it deserves to go to the same place as your actual, bloody tampons.


3) Motor Oil

Jagermeister, peppermint, cinnamon and coconut rum- all these things look delicious enough. But someone HAD to mix them to create a drink that was maybe not as horrible as actual motor oil, but a close second.


4) Giggling Yoda

“Do this, why you?” is what Yoda would have thought when he must have seen this drink. Sure, the ingredients- chopped pears, lime juice, vodka, grapes and mint- look delicious enough. But mix them, and you get a sludge that looks more like Yoda’s vomit. Star Wars fans, don’t fall into this trap.


5) Fried Chicken and Watermelon

Someone thought “lime garnish is so old-fashioned, let’s try something new”. Then he got hit in the head, and decided to invent this menace. The otherwise-decent blend of watermelon juice and whiskey is tarnished with the fat-filled piece of fried chicken dangling from it.


6) Lucky Charms Martini

I cannot talk about the party, but this drink could at least be a good dessert. Packed with your memories of childhood, it is filled with rock candy and marshmallows. For those who love diabetes, this is the drink for you. And did I mention, this is a martini made from Vodka instead of Gin? We live in a strange world.


7) Mexican Hooker

We will not comment about the real Mexican hookers, but this nauseating drink is no better. Made with tequila, Tabasco sauce and tuna fish juice, we cannot really fathom why someone made this drink. But full marks for the name.


8) Cement Mixer

Lime juice and Baileys. “Not so bad” you might say. Wait till it forms a sticky sludge inside your mouth that would make you afraid of swallowing anything for a while.


9) Bourbon Treat

Apart from the name, there is nothing good about this drink. What do you get when you mix Jagermeister, Goldschlager, blue curacao, bourbon and peppermint schnapps in equal parts? Something that would make the insides of your mouth wish for ulcers.


10) Prairie Oyster

This abomination is devoid of any pleasantness of the Prairies, or the delicious oysters. What it has instead, is a combination of bourbon, Tabasco and EGG! If you want to battle your chances against a revolting stomach, be my guest.


11) Horse Jizz

At least it is aptly named: it is really like a horse kicking you in the, umm, behind. When was the last time mixing beer with milk was a good idea? Yeah, maybe when human brains were still not evolved enough.


12) Infected Whitehead

What are your views about putting the ingredients of a Mexican pizza in vodka? It doesn’t matter, because someone already did that. A horrible mixture of Vodka, tomato juice and cottage cheese, it resembles more of the waste bin in your kitchen than something fit to be consumed by humans.


13) Bacon Martini

Bacon is nothing short of God’s divine gift for our taste buds. You can put bacon in almost everywhere- except in a drink. But someone took it as a challenge and created a fusion of apple juice, butterscotch schnapps and bacon-infused vodka that not only questions the flavor of bacon and martini, but also makes you wonder why you ever thought of visiting that place.


14) Shrimp Cocktail Martini

Why, just why people think putting animals in a drink is a good idea? Maybe because some people simply want to watch the world burn.


15) Dirty Martini with Blue Cheese-stuffed Olives

I would simply tell you that putting olives in your drink is old-fashioned. Putting cheese-filled olives in your drink is just weird. This combination of vodka, olive juice and blue cheese is something you candefinitely live your life without.


16) Long Island Iced Tea

Long Island Iced Tea

Why would you want to drink something that was never known for its taste, especially when you are drunk? Maybe because you really want to vomit, or want to look like an idiot holding that oddity.


17) Macaroni and Cheese Jell-O Shot

How can we tell these guys for one final time, that putting cheese in a cocktail is a stupid, stupid idea? The terrible infusion of macaroni and cheese ruins even the classic fun of Jell-O shots.


18) Alligator Sperm

And the winner of the “Most disgusting cocktail name ever” is here. While the combination of pineapple juice, Midori and cream does not taste as terrible as the others on this list, this drink finds itself here simply because no time is a good time to say “Hey, I am drinking Alligator Sperm”.


19) Chicha

Not exactly a cocktail, this drink is made from corn and human saliva, to break down the starches into sugar. We wish it was a joke, but it isn’t. Since we were making a list of the worst drinks, this abomination cannot be missed.


20) Eggermeister

Eggs are healthy for you, until they are served as a cocktail. Then, they are simply a violation of human rights. This horrible thing is made from pickled eggs soaked in Jagermeister, resulting in an invitation to vomit.

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