Bars are perhaps one of the best places the youth of this century could hope to find themselves in. There is booze, there is music, and there are attractive people of the gender you like. Some great relationships can start here, or some really fun memories are made. But one wrong move and you might find yourself in a rather embarrassing spot. So, how exactly should you approach a girl? That list is endless, but here are the things you should definitely NOT do:
1) Interest vs. Desperation
While you must be definitely interested in a girl you want to approach, there is a fine line beyond which desperation starts. Remember, it’s a girl, not your final year project, so there is no compulsion that you really have to make it happen. Tell her what made you talk to her, occasionally compliment her for genuine things, but don’t overkill it with unnecessary flattery.
2) Hands off the table
Physical touches play a very vital role in forming connection, but the wrong ones can also land you in jail. So don’t begin the conversation by touching her, that’s like an invite for the bouncer to, well, bounce you. Have a long conversation, make sure she likes you, and maybe then you can touch her hands or bid goodbye with a hug. Read the signs, there is no “keep trying till you succeed”. If she doesn’t like it the first time, the second time might earn you plenty of embarrassment.
3) Never oversell
Another fine line lies between description and bragging. Tell her about yourself, your likes and dislikes. Sharing details always make a person more comfortable with you. But don’t go about bragging things that might not be even true. Okay, maybe you are Bruce Wayne and have done a lot of wonderful things, but there would always be time for her to know that. Showering a girl with seemingly impossible details isn’t going to make her like you.
4) Focus on the party
You came to the bar for the party, right? Well, keep that in mind. Talk to her, but keep enjoying the drinks and the music. If she likes you, she will join you into it. But if she doesn’t, well, you can still enjoy the party. But don’t forget everything exclusively for her- this might sound romantic, but gives the impression that you came to the bar for fishing girls.
5) Listen more, talk less buddy.
This holds true for almost every situation. People always like to talk rather than listen. Since you like that girl, make sure you listen more to her than talking about yourself. Ask her questions if she runs out of stuff to tell, but don’t get too personal if she isn’t reciprocating.
6) Careful with the contact
Never, never ask for the contact number in the first 10min of the conversation, which indicates desperation. It’s always better to wait till the end of the night to ask her for the number. If she declines, don’t overkill it with asking for an address or any other means of contact -again, a sign of desperation. Simply ask her “So, when can I see you again?”. It might just work.
7) Deal with rejection
It just might happen that she isn’t looking forward to a conversation at all- maybe she wants to be alone, or she is waiting for someone, or she simply doesn’t like you. You will realize that within 5 minutes, so politely back off. She isn’t the only girl there, and it’s rude to intrude into someone’s privacy.
8) “Drinks are on me”
Even though it might sound polite to offer her a drink, this will most probably creep her out, and you know why. Want my advice? Ask her what her favorite drink is, and then order it in front of her. And please, don’t say “Drinks are on me” at the beginning of the conversation- that is only showing off.